Okay don’t go all crazy or anything, but this is my first attempt at completing the Daily Prompt so thank’s for joining me in popping my “daily prompt” cherry. 😉 Anywhoo, here goes nothing.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve given someone that you failed to take yourself?
This question doesn’t exactly apply to me, so let me explain.
It seems as though people trust me with all their deepest, darkest, secrets. Even the people I don’t know. I’m okay with that, I certainly hear a lot of stories and have people ask my opinion often, I rarely provide an opinion outright. It’s just not my place, plus it almost always backfires.
If I have a friend that has some issue and they want advice, my number one priority is to be there to listen. Sometimes that’s enough. If she starts going back in circles or off on tangents (hey it happens) then I try to come up with directed and thoughtful (non leading) questions. Do I have you totally confused yet? Well let me make up an example that is not related to any specific friend or any specific concern…like that caveat huh?
EX: A friend calls and is upset that her boyfriend is out with his friends…again. It was his day off and she thought he’d be working on his honey do list, and had planned to surprise him with supper. She’s certain he’s drunk and he won’t answer her calls or texts. After explaining the situation as she sees it, she says what do I do?
This is where the ALARM goes off in my head! There’s flashing signs saying NO! Don’t answer! DANGER!
So I take a deep breath (to clear the alarm) and say, I’m so sorry you’re upset. What can I do for you? This usually wakes the person up to say, hey, she wants to help me.
Friend: I’m so tired of him not pulling his weight around the house, I have to work too.
Me: I don’t blame you, it can make things stressful when you’re overwhelmed, have you told him that?
Friend: Yes, we just had this fight the other day.
Me: Have you talked with him about your concern when you aren’t arguing?
Friend: No, I don’t think about it then.
Me: What has he done this week that you appreciate or wasn’t expecting for him to do?
Friend: Well he started my car yesterday morning when it was cold. That was really nice.
Me: Did you tell him you appreciated it?
Friend: No, I’m sure he knows.
Me: Maybe you should sit down with him when you guys are having a good day together (soon) and you could thank him for that. Then share with him your stress of feeling as though you have to do it all, and ask him to help you.
Friend: I never thought of it like that.
Okay, so it all seems a little hokey, but I have had conversations like these a million times. We get so wrapped up in our own feelings and emotions we forget to share how we are feeling and what we need with our partner, friend, parent, etc.
Hopefully this makes better sense now that I’ve given an example.
Woohoo, first Daily Prompt…DONE! 🙂 Thanks for joining me on this ride.